Phase 4: Are we there yet?

welcome back everyone! As some of you are familiar with the 5 love phases, you have officially reached Phase 4 with me.

Like every relationship, everything is always good in the beginning right? Feels real good during that honeymoon phase. Then comes the burning questions of what are we doing? Where is this going? It’s very unclear in the beginning what to expect when you are traveling on this “love journey” unless you have consistency, mutual visions, communication, consideration and respect for your partner. We all wish we were able to predict the future of our relationship, but at this point, my only question is, “are we there yet?” Have we arrived to the destinations that we have been waiting for. Whether it’s finally arriving to being married, being engaged, having kids, moving in together, taking trips together, going through hard times together, meeting the family, spending holidays together, or being closer again because of long distance. All these milestones in a relationship, we all look forward to but it takes time, patience and commitment.

1025 Communication Drive

We all know that communication is key. It’s easier to recite that than actually doing it. Communicating something that may seem so small and not that “serious” can make the biggest difference in a relationship. Being transparent can go a long way. Find ways to communicate with your partner without being disrespectful and judgmental. Be open minded about your partners opinions, agree to disagree, and move forward. When we ask for communication, you have to be open minded about what may be communicated—it’s not going to always be what we want to hear. Communication is a helpful antecedent strategy to avoid confrontation with your partner. Everybody is different so things can be communicated differently, whether it’s in writing, vocal expressions, or even physical gestures. Communication does not have to negative; Communicate the positive as well. Remind your partner that you love them, you want attention, you’re handsome/you’re beautiful, I’m proud of you etc. Remember some of the things you did in the honeymoon phase? Yeah, that energy—keep it while you can.

1125 Commitment Avenue

In this generation of dating, it’s a constant battle between being committed to a person for the sake of not knowing if that person is being completely committed to you. Another battle is allowing opinions from other outside sources dictate your relationship. I’m not writing this to act as if commitment is a “cake walk” because it is not, and it is not for the weak hearted. When you develop a strong foundation with a person, you create a strong bond, and with that, it’ll be difficult for anyone to break that bond. Commitment goes along with respect. Don’t allow for things to happen that you know would be disrespectful to your relationship. Commitment is about integrity—doing the right thing even when your partner is not around or others aren’t looking. Remember, the reality of it is, trust your relationship.

1225 Love Language Blvd

I always tell people that it’s the simple things in life that are free. It’s not about the materialistic things, but literally the thought that counts. It’s the fact you thought enough of a person that you are capable of doing something that would make them feel appreciated. Granted, gifts and tokens of appreciation are valued, but those “words of affirmation” and that physical touch does a lot more. That kiss on the forehead, opening the door, posting her pictures, bragging about her/him, greeting her with warm love and affection, checking on her/his mental and physical well being. It’s FREE and it’s always remembered. We often forget these hopeless romantic gestures because we get comfortable. We get comfortable, then we get bored, when we get bored, then we get negative or toxic cause it’s nothing else left but to start an argument as “entertainment”. Every couple is not the same so what your friend’s boyfriend may do, your boyfriend may not do and vice versa. It is not healthy to compare your relationship to others around or social media because you’re now defining your bond with your partner based on somebody else’s love story. We all have our own story, journey, and experiences.

125 Long Distance Blvd Apt 721

Distance makes the heart grow fonder that’s for sure. Memories, consistency, and a strong bond can go a long way. A lot of people miss out on great people because of the maintenance to sustain a long distance relationship. One thing for sure, it’s not easy. But another thing for sure too, if you want it, you’ll do what you can to keep it. Maintaining a strong relationship while being apart requires discipline in so many areas that you couldn’t even imagine. For starters of the most obvious areas of discipline is being faithful. There are so many forms of temptation that are constantly appearing. Like i tell others, is entertaining those things worth losing what you have built with another person? Because at the end of the day, it’s nothing out here in the “streets”. Same men/women looking for a come up, whether it’s sex, money, or attention—it’s not worth it. Another area of discipline is having your own mind. Sure you hang with single friends, does that mean you have to act single? Nah, stay focused. A lot of people said, “y’all aren’t going to work, or he’s overseas you already know what he doing, or you know you need attention girl that won’t work, you sure you can do that, or that couldn’t be me”—have your own mind and follow your intuition. Another area of discipline is keeping your business between you and your partner. I know we all like to vent to our friends about certain things, but trust me, learning how to deal with certain things on your own and/or with your partner will be more helpful than telling others in the long run. 1) you don’t have to worry about others judgment on any decision you make about your relationship 2) you don’t have to hear any negative opinions about your relationship 3) that relationship is between you and your partner & no one will ever understand your relationship like the two of you. Needless to say, it’s tough. But all that time apart, focus on what you can do to grow and better yourself to be the best version of yourself.

We’ve made 4 stops, but still haven’t quite arrived to our destination. We have a long journey but i wouldn’t take this trip with nobody else but you. Are we there yet..? Not yet, but I’m patient. 6 more stops and we will be arriving to our destination.